Thursday, April 22, 2010

Yearning for adventure

Sometimes I think, or I feel actually, like I am meant for so much more. That my "destiny" (if you will) is something so much bigger than this life, that somewhere, in my dreams perhaps, there is a world unlike anything anyone has ever seen. Now maybe that's my yearning for heaven, or maybe it's just my soul yearning for something more than this simple, materialistic world.

It's hard to think of this life as simple and small, because it's the only life I'll have and it's basically saying that I'm unhappy with it. That's sad for me.... I really desire to love life and appreciate every day that I get to spend with the people I love, but the hard truth is that I've always wanted more of an adventure into unknown vasts of life. I've seen movies that have that exhilaration and the power to make my heart race and yearn for that adventure and all I'm doing is watching this powerful fantasy on a screen in a room of my house. I want to live out those movies, but it's difficult to deal with the fact that it's all fake; none of it is real. It seems so real, so powerful, but it's not. It's just somebody else's vision put to life by actors and special effects.

I wonder if it's enough for the authors and directors to see their dreams get turned into reality, or if it only makes them desire for that fantasy even more?

I need to find my own adventure, find some part of this world or life that can help bridge that gap, to help fill the void from the lack there of. The love that I have for my husband fills in a large portion of that void, but part of me still desires adventure.

Maybe this is all a bunch of mumbo-jumbo but it's an expression of my desires.

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